Infant Issues

The way we raise our children can certainly become a hot topic.  There are opinions upon opinions coming from every direction including family, friends, doctors, and sisters in Christ.  Opinions range from how a baby should sleep or eat to total protection from everything and everyone except mom. The problem with opinions is that they are subjective.  This doesn’t mean that there is no truth in any opinion but it does mean that sometimes our own standard gets in the way of our gospel focus.

Let’s look at what sometimes happens to a mom who has been bombarded with the opinions of others. She meets someone in the nursery hallway at church excited about her baby and about being a new mom.  As she has conversation with two or three other moms, her excitement balloon begins to burst as she realizes she is not measuring up.  She is defeated.  The standards before her are too varied and too hard.  She does not feel like a good mommy.  Her excitement is replaced with a sadness that her baby has been denied a proper mother.  How does this further the gospel of Jesus Christ?

An example of one of the big issues among mothers of infants is breastfeeding.  We know that the medical community tells us that breastfeeding is best for babies.  But that does not mean it is the only way.  There are some women who cannot breastfeed or choose not to breastfeed for various reasons.    The woman who finds herself in this situation has not sinned against God and condemned her child to a terrible life.  Why do we feel like we need to make this woman feel badly about her choice?

We need to focus more on the gospel issues concerning our babies than all of these opinion issues.  What does a mother do who wants to be gospel focused?  Hang onto your hat, as this will be over the top mind blowing…Love your baby!  Yes, that is it!   “Older women…are to teach what is good and so train the young women to love their husbands and children…”Titus 2:3a-4   Wow!  This doesn’t say anything about breastfeeding, naps, types of food, or family bed.  We are told to love.  Now, before you place your opinion in the statement of “if you love your baby you would…”,remember that your opinion is how you love your child.

Love may look different for each individual.  For instance, when I was brought home from the hospital it was a hot day and my mom wanted to love me well by cooling me off.  She gave me a bottle of cold Kool-Aid in order to do that.  She didn’t really consider if it was good or bad for me, she just wanted to love me.   I survived obviously and am grateful for a mother who loved me.  So, how do we love?  Is it okay to get opinions?  Can we learn from the older generation?  According to our Titus 2 passage we can learn from the older generation and should.  The problem is that so many have such strong opinions, it appears that no one has had a baby before them.  The truth is that babies have been around since right after the fall of man.  The truth is that there is nothing new under the sun.  Therefore, the truth is we can learn from one another; however, the best teacher is the Word.

How do we love?  “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.  It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never ends…” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a  If we were to concentrate on putting this type of love into practice, it would spill over to our baby and also to others.  What I am saying is that we would learn to love other moms with differing opinions.  It would not matter so much how she feeds her baby as who she is and the encouragement of love she needs.

This series began because we place our opinions of so many things above the gospel.  This does not mean that we do not have opinions nor does it mean that we do not seek out help and advice from others.  The caution is more for the one giving the advice to remember:

1. Your advice is not gospel which means it may not be followed. Remember you are not always right!
2. Your advice is to be given in a way that displays love for the one asking. Love them enough to leave room for disagreement.